What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
