What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
