So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
