sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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