Its about making memories worth repressing
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
