oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
