just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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