Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
