I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
