You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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