He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
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