Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
