I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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