Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
