I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
