I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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