you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
