ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
