addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Two words: blizzard sex
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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