Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
