My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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