somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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