Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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