East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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