i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I came so hard my ears popped.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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