At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
