I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
