So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
