We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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