what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
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