happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
