we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
