Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
