Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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