I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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