so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Can I color on your dick again?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
