Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
