and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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