Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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