She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
