you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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