I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
