who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
whose ass print is on the piano?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
