whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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