Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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