So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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