I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
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