I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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