can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
and you fell through a lawn chair
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
