this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
