I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
